Fear of falling asleep affects countless people worldwide. Nighttime anxiety can trigger racing thoughts, tension, and stress, often rooted in subconscious patterns or past experiences. Understanding these underlying causes is the first step toward healing and reclaiming restful, peaceful nights.
Fear of Falling Asleep: Understanding Nighttime Anxiety & Healing
A young woman, around 29 years old, came to me for a healing session. Let’s call her Julia.
Julia told me that she had suffered from severe compulsions and anxieties for many years. She explained that before going to bed, she had to perform several rituals. She would check every corner of her room, under the bed, in the closet, and even search other rooms. Only when she was completely sure that no one was hiding anywhere did she allow herself to go to bed.
Even when she knew her apartment was empty, a strong fear would overcome her. Sometimes it escalated into full-blown panic attacks, and she would tremble, paralyzed under the covers. Sleep was almost impossible. Eventually, she would fall asleep, but the stress before every night left deep emotional scars.
Soon, Julia developed avoidance strategies to try to get a calmer night. One of them was spending an excessive amount of time brushing her teeth to delay going to bed. Another was to spend as much time as possible staying over at friends’ homes or inviting friends to stay with her. Her third strategy was to cling closely to her boyfriend, wanting to be with him as much as possible—which eventually put strain on the relationship.
Of course, these strategies didn’t always work, and she still had to sleep alone sometimes. Julia began psychotherapy, but talk therapy did not bring relief.
Through an acquaintance, she learned about me, and in her desperation, she finally turned to me—a spiritual healer. She admitted that normally, she would never have gone to someone like me, but because her acquaintance had spoken so highly of my work, she decided to give it a try. I smiled, understanding that many people hold prejudices against healers and only turn to them in moments of extreme need. I didn’t take offense; I understood completely, as I myself had once dismissed spiritual healing as nonsense. But that’s another story.
I asked Julia what she believed would happen if she didn’t perform her pre-sleep rituals and when these fears had first appeared.
She explained that she feared someone might be there to harm her—perhaps something like “the boogeyman.” She couldn’t remember exactly when it had started, but it must have been at the beginning of puberty.
Since fears like this don’t simply arise from nowhere, but have a cause, I asked if she might have experienced something distressing as a child.
“Yes,” she said. “There was something that still affects me to this day.”
She recounted that as a young girl, she was walking home with a classmate when a teenage boy on a bicycle cut her off from behind. He turned back, shoved Julia into a bush, attacked her, and groped her. Her classmate ran away screaming for help. Julia fought back fiercely, which caused the boy to release her and flee on his bike.
Julia remembered the incident vividly. Her mother arrived, the police were informed, but the perpetrator was never identified. Life seemed to continue as normal after that. She never saw the boy again.
I asked if her parents had talked to her about the incident. She said they didn’t want to “make a big deal” of it and that no discussion had taken place.
Now much of it made sense to me. I understood why, many years later, Julia suffered from these anxieties and compulsive behaviors.
We began the healing session. I stood beside Julia, inviting her into my energy field, and spoke calming words to allow her subconscious to take the lead. Shortly afterward, Julia re-experienced the incident—but this time in a protected space, with the opportunity to release the shock she had carried all these years.
Her body began to move back and forth, tears streaming down her face. I asked what she perceived, and she explained that the scene was playing out again in her mind. She described the incident in detail, and I encouraged her to release the shock. (I use a specific technique for this, which I cannot fully explain here; I teach it in my seminars.)
Julia’s body curled and shook, and she cried intensely—a sign that the shock was releasing. It seemed as if the trauma was leaving her body. I supported her with gentle words until the first wave passed. A second wave followed, weaker than the first, and I waited until it subsided. Finally, a smile appeared on Julia’s face, and her body calmed and stabilized.
I asked how she felt.
“Much better. I feel truly relieved,” she replied.
I then gave her the opportunity to make inner peace with the perpetrator and mentally return the pain he had caused her. This allowed Julia to release the guilt and fear she had carried all those years. In her mind, she embraced the “little Julia” and brought her from the past into her heart—into the here and now.
We concluded the session and discussed the experience. I explained that she had suffered a trauma. Because she could neither process the shock physically nor talk about it at the time, the memory had lodged in her subconscious.
At the onset of puberty, such repressed trauma can be reactivated. Julia’s subconscious sent out the old fear signals again because it has no sense of time—everything exists in the present for the subconscious.
Thus, the danger was not real or current, but old, unresolved fears, as if her inner self were saying: “Be careful. This must not happen again. Stay alert!”
I also explained that her symptoms resembled post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A war veteran, even years later, may see an enemy behind every bush, even though he is safely back home. Here, too, the subconscious remained trapped in the past, sending warning signals to prevent a repetition of the trauma.
Interestingly, Julia’s symptoms usually occurred before bedtime, although the attack had happened in broad daylight. I reasoned that in the bedroom we feel both safe and vulnerable; in sleep, we are particularly defenseless—much like children in threatening situations. This may explain why her anxieties appeared specifically at night.
During the healing session, Julia was able to resolve this old trauma in a protected environment and, with my guidance, release herself from it.
I asked her to call me a week later and report how she had been. When she did, I could hear in her voice that she was well.
“I am overjoyed, Marco. I am no longer afraid and fall asleep immediately—like a baby. Even when I am alone. I no longer have to perform rituals or search my apartment for the ‘boogeyman.’ It feels amazing to finally live freely. Thank you so very much!”
To this day, Julia is free of anxiety.
