Reiki in Violence Prevention

Reiki in violence prevention is an emerging topic that connects emotional healing with social impact. Many forms of violence are rooted in stress, trauma and unresolved emotional pain. By supporting relaxation and inner balance, Reiki may help individuals process these experiences and reduce the likelihood of harmful reactions.


“Reiki is, for me, an ideal tool to quickly reach the hearts of young people. Through Reiki, they can learn to appreciate themselves and others, strengthen their self-confidence, and find their center.” Marco Hennings


Reiki in Violence Prevention – Inner Calm as the Foundation for Conflict Awareness

Reiki in Prison
Reiki in Prison

Reiki in High-Stress and At-Risk Communities

Several years ago, together with a social worker, I offered a Reiki seminar on violence prevention for young inmates at the Hahnöfersand Correctional Facility (Lower Saxony). After introductory conversations about the causes of aggression and fear, I guided the participants to give Reiki to each other. This experience—touching one another mindfully and appreciatively—stood in stark contrast to the environment and upbringing that many of the youths had experienced.

After discussing the sources of aggression and deeper fears with the inmates, I guided the participants to first place their hands on themselves, and then on each other. The experience of doing something good for someone else and relaxing was the opposite of what they had been conditioned to do. My Reiki master once told me: “Those who have learned to hurt another person with their hands should, to balance things, also learn to heal with their hands. This is how one regains their ‘center.’”

That was 26 years ago, and what he told me then was true. Through my personal experiences with Reiki, I regained my center as a young man and transformed from an aggressive youth into a calm and loving person, discovering the incredible potential within myself. Today, I am grateful that I can pass on this wealth of experience to others.

Many years later, after I first heard this sentence from my Reiki teacher, reports of youth violence were once again dominating the media, and I was given the opportunity to work with young inmates at the Hahnöfersand Correctional Facility using Reiki. Anyone who has seen a prison knows how it feels to approach the entrance. Most people want to leave such a place as quickly as possible: high fences topped with barbed wire, guard towers, locked gates, cameras—not exactly a welcoming sight. I, however, was determined to go in.

One often hears about programs that aim to put people back on the right path through pressure or even violence—for example, boot camps in America. My approach was completely different. From my personal experience, and that of my students in my Reiki seminars, I knew that Reiki can influence a person positively in a much gentler way and lead to meaningful change.

Of course, it is good and important to provide a young person who has gone off track—through, for example, a boxing training camp—with clear structure, boundaries, and rules.

In my opinion, it is equally important not only to show them how to throw a punch correctly but also to show them how they can use their hands to help another person—or even themselves.

The art of Reiki is ideal for this because it is easy for anyone to learn, immediately applicable, and produces positive results very quickly.

Have you ever noticed that angry people are under extreme tension? Have you ever tried to be angry or aggressive when completely relaxed? Of course not. It’s impossible. In a relaxed state, we are simply not capable of being angry or aggressive.

Why is that?

Anger consumes a lot of life energy—love gives us life energy.
Too little energy leads to tension—sufficient energy leads to relaxation.

And this is precisely where I work with Reiki energy and its deeply relaxing and transformative effects.

Together with a social worker, I led a two-day Reiki seminar on violence prevention

My assistant and I first developed a concept for our project.
Mr. Tamm-Berg selected six suitable young people, aged 17 to 21, for our project and prepared everything else to ensure a smooth process. We needed about six weeks for our preparations. The project was planned for two days, during which I would initiate the inmates into what is called the First Reiki Degree.

The prison administration at Hahnöfersand was very helpful and supported our work in every possible way. We were allowed to use the gymnasium undisturbed for those two days, and several guards were also made available to us.

On the first day, I introduced myself to the young inmates and explained what they could expect over the next two days. At first, they were skeptical, especially after hearing words like “laying on of hands.” But after an hour, we had answered all questions sufficiently, and everyone wanted to participate. Curiosity ultimately overcame the initial skepticism.

Before we began, I asked the inmates to write down their most important values, ranking them in order of importance—e.g., family, success, love, money, etc. We then collected these sheets. At the end of the seminar, we asked the inmates again about their values to see if, and how, their priorities had changed after the Reiki seminar.

In my regular Reiki seminars, the focus is clearly on “Reiki and Healing.” In this project, the focus was on Reiki and, among other things, on violence. This was a particularly exciting combination for me, as in addition to my Reiki practice, I have been practicing martial arts such as Kung Fu, boxing, and Filipino Kali for over 25 years.

I therefore asked questions such as: Why do you think people fight? Have you ever been hit? Have you ever hit someone else? How did you feel during and after? How did you feel when you won or lost?

It was very interesting, for example, to learn that the inmates quickly agreed that people probably hurt each other out of fear. It became increasingly clear to them that fear is a major motivator for violence—that there aren’t just perpetrators and victims, but both are actually victims of their own fear, which drives their actions. Fascinating, isn’t it…?!

reiki in violence prevention trauma healing
Once the guys tried out their first Reiki exercises—self-treatment and hand positions—on themselves, the last bit of ice between us was finally broken.

After the mutual seated Reiki treatment, I asked them how they were feeling, and I received responses such as:
“It was very relaxing”;
“I felt comfortable”;
“My problems somehow drifted away”;
“Somehow lighter…”;
“I feel strange, but pleasantly strange”;
“Funny, I can’t describe it, but it was okay.”

“Could it be that I felt a tingling on my head?”
“Earlier I was still angry at a guard, but that’s gone now”;
“You really forget, even if just for a moment, that you’re in prison…”


A relaxed and harmonious atmosphere prevailed.
energy healing stress reduction trauma
Any help with hand positions is greatly appreciated.

Very soon, I no longer even noticed that I was in a prison, teaching Reiki to “inmates.” From that moment on, they were simply “guys” to me. Once again, Reiki demonstrated its wonderful power of love. I saw only the people, not the prisoners.

Even the various guards and my assistant were amazed at what was unfolding before their eyes. The guys worked quietly and focused together. They listened attentively. A relaxed and harmonious atmosphere prevailed the entire time. Experiences like this were rare.


Everyone works with everyone else. There are no longer any “rank” differences!

More Conscious Handling of Conflicts

On the second day, before the second part of the seminar, we sat down with the guys for two hours to discuss their impressions from the previous day. We talked about Reiki but also about topics such as respect. “What does respect actually mean to you? Do you respect yourselves?” All six participants gave a clear “no” in response to that question…

The second part of the seminar began with a review of self-treatment, followed by a repetition of seated treatments with other partners. On the second day, the participants perceived the Reiki energy more strongly, and the sequence of positions was more familiar to them.

Later, they learned to perform treatments on a person lying down. Again, everyone was very focused and engaged. I conducted the Reiki initiations in a small, separate equipment room. Although it was uncomfortable, it posed no problem because the guys still felt comfortable during the initiations. It was also remarkable how respectfully they behaved toward me and how gratefully they received the initiations.


emotional healing reiki support
Mindfulness and complete respect for one another!

Strengthening Self-Esteem & Improving Emotional Self-Control

After the seminar, everyone received the so-called “values sheet” once again. For some participants, there were indeed changes in their rankings. For example, new values had appeared, such as “helping other people” and “gratitude.” Values like “money” had moved to the lower positions—or even disappeared entirely.

I was also very grateful to have had this experience with the young people.

My Conclusion: Young people who become violent usually learned this behavior in their lives and have never had loving role models. Some have been traumatized through abuse and now, out of fear, pass the suffering on to others. This creates a vicious cycle of violence. Peer pressure and group dynamics add to it. It is very difficult for a young person to break out of such a cycle on their own.

With Reiki, I have a tool that allows me to reach the hearts of these young people. Through Reiki, they learn to appreciate themselves, build self-confidence, and find their center. Through this previously unexperienced practice, they also learn to appreciate others. They discover, through the laying on of hands, that they can do something good for another person. Only those who love themselves can give love to others.


Passed the 1st degree of Reiki with flying colours! Pride and joy among all participants.

In my opinion, Reiki has a bright future in violence prevention. One day, it may become completely normal for Reiki to be applied in correctional facilities—as well as in all areas concerned with violence prevention. The interest from the leadership at Hahnöfersand was certainly very promising. This could be the first step in the right direction. I would be delighted if my example were to set a precedent.

I would like to thank my assistant, Dietmar Tamm-Berg, and the Hahnöfersand Correctional Facility, whose support made this project possible.

Note: All photos were published with the consent of the inmates. To protect the young people, their faces were obscured.

Why Reiki is Considered “Evil”?


Some people ask, “Is Reiki something evil?” Often, such opinions arise from misunderstandings, bad experiences, or unrealistic expectations. Reiki itself is not “evil” — its effect depends on the intention, experience, and application. In this article, I will explain common misconceptions, when Reiki might feel negative, and what true Reiki healing looks like.

why reiki is considered evil misconceptions

Why Reiki is Considered “Evil”? Misunderstandings, Criticism, and Clarity


Not long ago, I received a call from a lady who had been recommended to me by another client. The first thing she asked was, “You do Reiki, right?”

I replied, “Yes, I also work with Reiki. But in your case, I would probably work with English spiritual healing.”

She responded with relief, “That’s good. I had very bad experiences with Reiki.”

I asked, “What exactly did you experience?”

She said, “I felt really bad afterward — and Reiki was to blame. Reiki is evil…”

“I see,” I said. “Hmm, maybe you had a Reiki practitioner who wasn’t sufficiently knowledgeable. Did they inform you that sometimes there can be an initial worsening?”

“Yes, they did,” she said. “But the intensity really surprised me. It felt as if all the traumas from my childhood were coming back.”

“Okay,” I responded. “Did you discuss your reaction with your Reiki practitioner afterward?”

“No,” she said. “But I knew for sure I would never go back there.”

“So, they don’t even know about your reaction?”

“No.”

“I understand… Unfortunately, it happens repeatedly that people have bad experiences with Reiki and then believe that Reiki is something bad.”

She countered, “But isn’t it? I felt awful right afterward.”

“That’s true,” I said. “But Reiki didn’t want to harm you. It simply brought a suppressed issue to the surface so that it could be seen and healed. We can often only recognize subconscious processes when they become visible. In your case, your subconscious brought old pain from your past to the surface after the session so that you could perceive it and work with it.”

I added, “I assume — since I don’t know your Reiki practitioner — that they weren’t aware of these dynamics. Many Reiki practitioners don’t understand these mechanisms or were never taught about them by their own teachers.”


To the reader:

Usually, most Reiki teachers teach that a session should be stopped immediately if a person feels bad during it. I also learned this at the beginning of my work with Reiki. Whenever one of my clients felt unwell during a session, I would conscientiously end it.

When my clients then asked why this might happen, I couldn’t give them a truly satisfying answer. I explained it to myself as a so-called initial worsening symptom, just as I had learned in my Reiki training.

But I was never fully convinced by this explanation. For a long time, I searched for a deeper answer to this question.

I only received answers when I met the English spiritual healer Malcolm Southwood and completed his training as a spiritual healer. He gave me concrete answers to many questions that had remained open from my previous Reiki training.

For the first time, I could really understand what happens in the subconscious and how to guide people through these processes mindfully and lovingly.

It always makes me somewhat sad when I hear cases where people become convinced afterward that Reiki is evil or even “from the devil.” It’s astonishing how such speculation has grown over time. In some cases, people even talk about alien implants or possession by spirits.

All of this is nonsense and spreads only because many Reiki practitioners cannot clearly explain certain phenomena that can occur during or after a Reiki session.

I am a perfect example. Trauma energies from my own childhood surfaced, which I had buried deep in my subconscious. However, this did not happen after receiving a Reiki session but after I was initiated into the Reiki Master level.

My Reiki teacher had warned me beforehand that some changes could occur afterward — but I had not expected such intensity. I felt really bad. I asked my teacher for help, but he could not support me in this situation because he wasn’t trained for it. Instead, he advised me to seek professional help.

So I turned to psychologists — but even there, I found no real support.

Only when I met Malcolm Southwood was I able to resolve my childhood traumas with his help. His work impressed me so much that I decided to train with him and work as a healer myself.

Today, my Reiki students learn how to handle it if one of their clients experiences a psychological crisis during a session.


What Causes Psychological Crises After a Reiki Initiation or Session?

During the energetic activation of the chakras and vibrations through a Reiki initiation, old wounds and suppressed traumas can surface in the consciousness. The same applies to a Reiki session. This is not a problem in itself — provided it happens in a safe and protected environment under the guidance of an experienced Reiki practitioner/teacher.

Reiki sets a lot in motion, both consciously and unconsciously. This “movement” serves solely for healing and personal development and is therefore natural and wonderful. It only becomes problematic if someone experiences a psychological crisis after a Reiki initiation without an experienced teacher or other trained support by their side.

Some time ago, I heard the following story: A young woman received her Reiki Master level from a teacher who had conducted her entire Reiki training online through distant initiations. The young woman had not completed a single Reiki level beforehand, yet her “online Reiki teacher” advised her to complete all three levels on the same day — 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Reiki levels consecutively.

Shortly afterward, the newly minted master fell into a deep psychological hole. When she asked her teacher for help, the response was: “That’s your problem. You’re a Reiki master now…”

Every responsible Reiki teacher would be horrified by such an approach. It is absolutely negligent. The individual Reiki levels are deliberately spaced over a longer period so that the human chakra system can gradually adjust to the new energy.

Additionally, a responsible teacher would inform students about the possibility of emotional overwhelm — meaning that feelings could arise that might surprise a Reiki beginner with their intensity, even long after the initiation. If problems occur, the teacher should support the student with advice and action. If the teacher cannot help, due to lack of training or being overwhelmed, they should have a network of psychologists, therapists, counselors, or other professionals to refer the student to in case of emergency.

Of course, it is not as if every Reiki beginner immediately experiences a psychological crisis after initiation. Such crises mostly occur in people with a certain pre-existing vulnerability. With the right guidance from the teacher, such a crisis is not a problem. It can be recognized, accompanied, and overcome. Learning Reiki remains a safe and wonderful experience, which I wholeheartedly recommend.

It is only when Reiki teachers or practitioners, out of ignorance of these mechanisms, fail to warn about potential risks and do not offer support after the seminar that situations arise in which a Reiki experience is mistakenly interpreted as “evil” or “negative.”

It is therefore up to us as teachers to be aware of this responsibility and provide proper guidance — to spare our students bad experiences and to prevent misunderstandings or misinterpretations of such personal crises in the future.

Warum Reiki „böse“ ist?

Manche Menschen fragen sich: „Ist Reiki etwas böses?“ Häufig entstehen solche Ansichten durch Missverständnisse, schlechte Erfahrungen oder falsche Erwartungen. Reiki selbst ist nicht „böse“ – es hängt von der Absicht, Erfahrung und Anwendung ab. In diesem Artikel erkläre ich, welche Missverständnisse es gibt, wann Reiki als negativ empfunden werden kann und wie echte Reiki-Heilung aussieht.



Warum Reiki böse ist? Kritik, Missverständnisse und Klarheit

Erst vor Kurzem hatte ich einen Anruf von einer Dame, die mir von einem anderen Klienten empfohlen wurde. Das Erste, was sie mich fragte, war: „Du machst doch Reiki, oder?“

Ich antwortete: „Ja, ich arbeite auch mit Reiki. Aber in deinem Fall würde ich eher mit englischem geistigem Heilen arbeiten.“

Daraufhin sagte sie erleichtert: „Das ist gut. Mit Reiki habe ich nämlich sehr schlechte Erfahrungen gemacht.“

Ich fragte nach: „Was genau hast du denn erlebt?“

Sie antwortete: „Mir ging es danach richtig schlecht – und Reiki ist daran schuld. Reiki ist böse…“

„Verstehe“, sagte ich. „Hm, möglicherweise hattest du einen Reiki-Praktizierenden, der sich nicht ausreichend auskannte. Hat er dich darüber aufgeklärt, dass es manchmal zu einer Erstverschlimmerung kommen kann?“

„Doch, das hat er“, sagte sie. „Aber die Heftigkeit hat mich sehr überrascht. Es fühlte sich an, als wären alle Traumata aus meiner Kindheit wieder da.“

„Okay“, erwiderte ich. „Hast du deinen Reiki-Anwender danach darauf angesprochen?“

„Nein“, sagte sie. „Aber mir war klar, dass ich dort auf keinen Fall wieder hingehe.“

„Das heißt, er weiß gar nichts von deiner Reaktion?“

„Nein.“

„Verstehe… Leider kommt es immer wieder vor, dass Menschen schlechte Erfahrungen mit Reiki machen und dann glauben, Reiki sei etwas Schlechtes.“

Sie entgegnete: „Ist es das denn nicht? Es ging mir doch direkt danach schlecht.“

„Das stimmt“, sagte ich. „Aber Reiki wollte dir nichts Böses. Es hat vielmehr ein verdrängtes Thema an die Oberfläche gebracht, damit es gesehen und geheilt werden kann. Unterbewusste Prozesse können wir oft erst dann erkennen, wenn sie sichtbar werden. In deinem Fall hat dein Unterbewusstsein nach der Anwendung den alten Schmerz aus deiner Vergangenheit an die Oberfläche gespült – damit du ihn wahrnehmen und dich ihm zuwenden kannst.“

Ich fügte hinzu: „Ich vermute – da ich deinen Reiki-Anwender nicht kenne –, dass ihm diese Zusammenhänge nicht bewusst waren. Viele Reiki-Praktizierende verstehen diese Mechanismen nicht oder haben sie von ihren Lehrern nie vermittelt bekommen.“

An den Leser gerichtet:

Üblicherweise lernt man bei den meisten Reiki-Lehrern, dass man eine Anwendung sofort abbrechen soll, wenn es einem Menschen währenddessen schlecht geht. Auch ich habe das zu Beginn meiner Arbeit mit der Reiki-Kunst so gelernt. Immer wenn es einem meiner Klienten während der Anwendung nicht gut ging, habe ich die Sitzung gewissenhaft beendet.

Wenn meine Klienten mich dann fragten, woran das liegen könnte, konnte ich ihnen keine wirklich zufriedenstellende Antwort geben. Ich erklärte es mir mit dem sogenannten Erstverschlimmerungs-Symptom, so wie ich es in meiner Reiki-Ausbildung gelernt hatte.

Doch wirklich überzeugt war ich von dieser Erklärung nie. Deshalb war ich lange Zeit auf der Suche nach einer tiefergehenden Antwort auf diese Frage.

Antworten auf dieses Thema erhielt ich erst, als ich den englischen Geistheiler Malcolm Southwood kennenlernte und bei ihm die Ausbildung zum geistigen Heiler absolvierte. Von ihm bekam ich auf viele Fragen, die in meiner vorherigen Reiki-Ausbildung offen geblieben waren, endlich konkrete Antworten.

Zum ersten Mal konnte ich wirklich verstehen, was im Unterbewusstsein abläuft und wie man Menschen durch diese Prozesse achtsam und liebevoll begleiten kann.

Es macht mich immer wieder etwas traurig, wenn ich von Fällen höre, in denen Menschen anschließend überzeugt sind, dass Reiki etwas Böses sei oder sogar „vom Teufel“ komme. Es ist erstaunlich, welche Auswüchse solche Spekulationen mittlerweile angenommen haben. Teilweise wird sogar von außerirdischen Implantaten oder von Besetzungen durch Geistwesen gesprochen.

All das ist Unsinn und kann sich nur deshalb so verbreiten, weil viele Reiki-Praktizierende keine klaren Erklärungen für bestimmte Phänomene haben, die während oder nach einer Reiki-Sitzung auftreten können.

Ich selbst bin dafür das beste Beispiel. Auch bei mir kamen Traumaenergien aus meiner Kindheit an die Oberfläche, die ich zuvor tief in meinem Unterbewusstsein vergraben hatte. Allerdings geschah das nicht nach einer Reiki-Anwendung, die ich erhalten hatte, sondern nachdem ich in den Reiki-Meistergrad eingeweiht worden war.

Mein Reiki-Lehrer hatte mich im Vorfeld darauf hingewiesen, dass sich danach einiges verändern könnte – doch mit einer solchen Intensität hatte ich nicht gerechnet. Mir ging es wirklich schlecht. Ich bat meinen Lehrer um Hilfe, doch er konnte mich in dieser Situation nicht unterstützen, da er dafür nicht ausgebildet war. Stattdessen riet er mir, mir professionelle Hilfe zu suchen.

Also wandte ich mich an Psychologen – doch auch dort fand ich keine wirkliche Unterstützung.

Erst als ich Malcolm Southwood begegnete, konnte ich meine Kindheitstraumata mit seiner Hilfe auflösen. Seine Arbeit beeindruckte mich so sehr, dass ich mich entschloss, bei ihm in die Ausbildung zu gehen und selbst als Heiler zu arbeiten.

Heute lernen meine Reiki-Schüler bei mir, wie sie damit umgehen können, wenn einer ihrer Klienten während einer Sitzung in eine seelische Krise gerät.

Was sind die Ursachen für seelische Krisen nach einer Reiki-Einweihung oder -Anwendung?

Bei der energetischen Anhebung der Chakren und der Schwingungen durch eine Reiki-Einweihung können alte Wunden und verdrängte Traumata an die Oberfläche des Bewusstseins treten. Das gleiche gilt bei einer Reiki- Anwendung. Das ist an sich kein Problem – vorausgesetzt, dies geschieht in einem sicheren und geschützten Rahmen unter der Aufsicht eines erfahrenen Reiki-Praktizierenden / Lehrers.

Reiki setzt sowohl bewusst als auch unbewusst viel in Bewegung. Diese „Bewegung“ dient allein der Heilung und Entwicklung des Menschen und ist somit eine natürliche und wunderbare Sache. Problematisch wird es erst, wenn jemand nach einer Reiki-Einweihung mit einer seelischen Krise konfrontiert wird, ohne einen erfahrenen Lehrer oder eine andere geschulte Begleitung an seiner Seite zu haben.

Vor einiger Zeit wurde mir folgende Geschichte zugetragen: Eine junge Frau erhielt ihren Reiki-Meistergrad von einer Lehrerin, die ihre gesamte Reiki-Ausbildung über das Internet per Ferneinweihungen durchgeführt hatte. Die junge Frau hatte zuvor noch keinen einzigen Reiki-Grad absolviert, doch ihre „Internet-Reiki-Lehrerin“ riet ihr, alle drei Grade an einem einzigen Tag hintereinander zu absolvieren – 1., 2. und 3. Reiki-Grad gleichzeitig.

Kurze Zeit später stürzte die frischgebackene Meisterin in ein tiefes seelisches Loch. Als sie ihre Lehrerin um Hilfe bat, erhielt sie die Antwort: „Das ist dein Problem. Du bist ja jetzt eine Reiki-Meisterin…“

Jedem verantwortungsbewussten Reiki-Lehrer sträuben sich bei einer solchen Vorgehensweise die Haare. Sie ist absolut fahrlässig. Die einzelnen Reiki-Grade werden bewusst über einen längeren Zeitraum vergeben, damit das menschliche Chakrensystem Schritt für Schritt an die neue Energie angepasst werden kann.

Zudem würde ein verantwortungsbewusster Lehrer seine Schüler über die Möglichkeit einer emotionalen Überforderung aufklären. Damit ist gemeint, dass Gefühle auftreten können, die den Reiki-Neuling in ihrer Heftigkeit überraschen – auch noch lange nach der Einweihung. Falls es zu Problemen kommen sollte, steht der Lehrer seinen Schülern mit Rat und Tat zur Seite. Kann der Lehrer selbst nicht helfen, weil ihm etwa die Ausbildung dafür fehlt oder die Situation ihn überfordert, sollte er ein Netzwerk von Psychologen, Heilpraktikern, Seelsorgern oder anderen Fachkräften aufgebaut haben, an das er seine Schüler im Notfall weitervermitteln kann.

Natürlich klingt es jetzt so, als stürze jeder Reiki-Anfänger direkt nach der Einweihung in eine seelische Krise – das ist keineswegs der Fall. Solche Krisen treten meist nur bei Menschen mit einer gewissen Vorbelastung auf. Mit der richtigen Betreuung durch den Lehrer ist eine solche Krise jedoch kein Problem. Sie kann erkannt, begleitet und überwunden werden. Reiki zu erlernen bleibt eine sichere und wundervolle Erfahrung, die ich jedem ans Herz legen kann.

Erst wenn Reiki-Lehrer oder Praktizierende aus Unwissenheit über diese Mechanismen nicht auf mögliche Risiken hinweisen und ihren Schülern keine Unterstützung nach dem Seminar anbieten, entstehen Situationen, in denen eine Reiki-Erfahrung als Auslöser einer seelischen Krise fälschlicherweise als „böse“ oder „negativ“ interpretiert wird.

Es liegt also an uns Lehrern, uns dieser Verantwortung bewusst zu sein und Aufklärung zu betreiben – um unseren Schülern schlechte Erfahrungen zu ersparen und Missverständnisse oder falsche Interpretationen solcher persönlichen Krisen in Zukunft zu vermeiden.

Wenn du jetzt lernen möchtest wie man mit solchen seelischen Krisen umgehen kann dann besuche dieses Seminar.

Healing Lost Femininity – Returning to Inner Strength

Many women know the feeling of having lost their femininity—due to societal pressure, past wounds, or internal blockages. Lost femininity can leave deep marks and affect self-worth, relationships, and joy in life. In this article, you will learn how to rediscover your inner strength, heal old wounds, and cultivate a loving connection to your own femininity.

healing lost femininity inner strength

It is truly remarkable how many different faces of human suffering a healer encounters in their practice over the years. The following case is about Tina (name changed). Tina was 35 years old and came to see me because she struggled deeply with her self-worth.

She told me that she had been in a relationship with the same partner for ten years, yet they had never been sexually intimate. They didn’t live together either, although his apartment was on the same floor—right next to hers.

They lived side by side, spent time together, but never shared a bed. Even simple forms of affection, such as hugging, were difficult for her—both giving and receiving.

Her partner didn’t seem to mind, but Tina wished things were different. There was something unknown that gnawed at her physical self-worth—something she couldn’t explain. She had experienced similar difficulties with previous partners as well.

As I continued to ask questions, Tina revealed that she had undergone three cosmetic surgeries on her breasts in an attempt to resolve this inner discomfort.

Naturally, I glanced at her chest area. Usually, when women undergo breast surgery, it’s to enlarge them. In Tina’s case, however, I noticed the opposite.

Tina saw my confusion and laughed.

“No,” she said. “I had them reduced.”

I looked at her in surprise.
“Three times?”

“Yes,” she replied. “After each surgery, I felt like they could still be smaller…”

“Was there any medical reason for this?” I asked.

“No,” Tina answered. “Just… psychological, somehow.”

Since our conversation didn’t reveal any further clues about the root of her issue, I decided to begin the healing process and address her subconscious directly.

Using my usual approach, I guided Tina into a relaxed state of awareness through my voice and healing energy. After a few minutes, she entered an alpha state, and the first mental images began to arise.

Soon, she felt fear.

When I asked her why, she initially couldn’t give a clear answer.

So I instructed her subconscious to take her back to the very first moment in her life when she had experienced this feeling of fear.

After a short while, Tina saw herself as a 13- or 14-year-old girl.

I asked her where she was.

Her breathing became faster, her eyelids flickered, her face flushed, and a light sheen of sweat appeared on her forehead.

She was in her room, pacing back and forth—desperate, overwhelmed with fear and panic.

“I’m so scared… so terribly scared…” Tina said, tears running down her cheeks.

“What happened just before this?” I asked gently.

She had just gotten her first period.

And she believed she was going to die.

Her mother had never explained anything to her, so the young Tina had no idea that menstruation was a natural part of growing up.

After some time, the initial shock faded slightly. But she was convinced she must be seriously ill. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t dare tell anyone—especially not her parents. The shame was overwhelming.

In her family, sexuality was a taboo subject—something that was never spoken about.

How terrible that must have been for her. It’s heartbreaking to imagine a child suffering like that, when a few loving words and simple explanations could have taken away all that fear.

Tina hid her stained underwear under her bed. When the bleeding finally stopped after about a week, she felt immense relief. A huge weight lifted off her shoulders. She desperately hoped it would never happen again.

A few days later, she was playing outside with other children. When she returned home, she saw her mother standing at the open window.

Her mother looked furious and shouted at her to come upstairs immediately.

Panic rose within Tina—she knew her secret had been discovered.

When she entered the apartment, everything erupted. Her father was there as well. Both parents yelled at her, calling her terrible names—words no child should ever hear from their own parents.

Tina wanted to disappear into the ground out of shame and fear.

The accusations seemed endless. As punishment, she was grounded. And afterward, her parents never spoke of the incident again.

Later, Tina gathered the courage to confide in a friend’s mother—a kind and caring woman. She explained everything to Tina and took away her fear and confusion.

Tina’s own mother had never done that.

Who knows what experiences she herself had gone through, that she had such a troubled relationship with her own femininity?

This incident was one of the most painful moments of Tina’s childhood. It also reflected the deeper dysfunction in her relationship with her parents. Their own shame, guilt, and ignorance had been projected onto Tina, causing deep emotional wounds that stayed with her into adulthood.

But as an adult, Tina didn’t just struggle with self-worth.

She had lost her connection to her femininity.

As she grew from a girl into a woman, she began to hide her femininity.

This was intensified by another traumatic experience at the age of seventeen, when she was sexually harassed by a young man in a nightclub. Once again, she felt helpless and exposed.

On a subconscious level, her femininity became something dangerous.

From that point on, she unconsciously feared her own womanhood and sexuality.

This explains why Tina underwent three breast reduction surgeries—not out of vanity, but to hide her femininity, to avoid being seen, to avoid being “discovered”… just as her parents had once discovered her secret under the bed.

Her femininity had become associated not only with fear, but also with deep feelings of guilt and shame.

It had become something threatening.

It also explains why she could be in a relationship with a man—but not truly allow closeness.

Deep within her, there was a belief that it was wrong to be a woman.

Because if she truly allowed herself to be one, the “secret” would surface again. The shame would return. People would judge her.

These are unconscious processes—but they can have immense power over us.

So much power that a person might even undergo unnecessary surgeries just to avoid facing them.

During the healing session, as all of this emerged from Tina’s subconscious into her conscious awareness, she finally understood the true root of her struggles.

And in that moment, she began to heal herself.

At the end of the session, I simply supported her in reconnecting with her inner child—helping her establish a strong, loving bond that she could carry with her from that day forward.

Today, Tina is a confident woman who embraces and values her femininity and sexuality.

Isn’t that beautiful?

Verlorene Weiblichkeit heilen – Zurück zu innerer Kraft

Viele Frauen kennen das Gefühl, ihre Weiblichkeit verloren zu haben – durch gesellschaftlichen Druck, alte Verletzungen oder innere Blockaden. Verlorene Weiblichkeit kann tiefe Spuren hinterlassen und sich auf Selbstwert, Beziehungen und Lebensfreude auswirken. In diesem Artikel erfährst du, wie du deine innere Stärke wiederentdeckst, alte Wunden löst und einen liebevollen Zugang zu deiner eigenen Weiblichkeit findest.

verlorene Weiblichkeit heilen innere Kraft


Verlorene Weiblichkeit: Wege zur Heilung & Selbstentdeckung

Es ist schon erstaunlich, wie viele verschiedene Gesichter des menschlichen Leids einem Heiler in seiner Praxis, im laufe der Jahre begegnen können. Der nächste Fall handelt um Tina (Name geändert). Tina war 35 Jahre alt und suchte mich auf, weil sie große Probleme mit den Selbstwertgefühlen hatte.

Sie erzählte mir, dass  sie seit zehn Jahren mit demselben Partner eine Beziehung führen würde, aber sie mit diesem Mann nie sexuell aktiv geworden war. Sie würde mit diesen Mann auch nicht zusammen wohnen aber er hätte seine Wohnung auf derselben Etage, direkt neben ihrer Wohnung.

Sie wohnten also nebeneinander, verbrachten Zeit miteinander aber schliefen nie zusammen im selben Bett. Auch Zärtlichkeiten, wie Umarmungen, fielen ihr schwer.  Das geben, sowie das bekommen.

Ihren Mann würde es nicht stören, allerdings hätte Tina es eigentlich gerne anders. Da nagte aber etwas Unbekanntes an ihrem körperlichen Selbstwertgefühl. Welches sie sich selbst aber nicht erklären konnte. Auch mit ihren vorigen Partnern gab es auf dieser Ebene oft Schwierigkeiten.

Ich befragte Tina weiter und im Laufe dieses Gespräches erzählte sie mir dann, dass sie bereits drei Schönheit-OPS an ihren Brüsten vornehmen lies um dieses körperliche „Unwohlsein“ zu lösen.

Unwillkürlich schaute ich auf ihren Brustbereich denn meistens, wenn Frauen eine Schönheitsoperation im Brustbereich vornehmen lassen, werden die Brüste vergrößert. In Tinas Fall konnte ich nichts von einer vergrößerten Oberweite erkennen. Das Gegenteil war der Fall.  

Tina bemerkte dass ich verwirrt war. Sie lachte und sagte: „Nein! Ich habe meine Brüste verkleinern lassen!“

Ich fragte erstaunt nach. „Ganze dreimal?!“

„Ja“, antwortete sie. „Ich dachte halt  nach jeder der OPs, sie könnten doch gerne noch etwas kleiner sein…“

„Gab es denn irgendeinen gesundheitlichen Grund dafür?“ hakte ich nach.

„Nein“, antworte Tina. „Nur psychisch, irgendwie…“

Da ich im weiteren Gesprächsverlauf mit Tina keine weiteren, brauchbaren Hinweise zur Ursache der Problematik bekam, entschloss ich mich mit der Heilarbeit zu beginnen um ihr Unterbewusstsein nun direkt zu befragen.

Ich begann mit meiner üblichen Vorgehensweise um Tina in einen entspannten Bewusstseinszustand zu versetzen. Dazu arbeite ich mit meiner Stimme in Kombination von Heilenergien. Nachdem einige Minuten verstrichen waren befand sich Tina im Alpha Zustand und erste mentale Bilder erschienen in ihrem Geiste. Dann verspürte sie etwas Angst. Als ich sie fragte warum sie diese Angst empfinden würde,  konnte sie mir darauf zunächst keine präzise Antwort geben.

Daraufhin sagte ich ihrem Unterbewusstsein, es solle nun an den Punkt in der Vergangenheit zurückkehren, an denen Tina dieses Angstgefühl zum allerersten Mal empfunden hatte.

Wieder verstrich etwas Zeit, doch dann sah sich Tina in ihrem Geiste als dreizehn  oder vierzehn jähriges Mädchen. Ich fragte sie, wo genau sie sich grade befindet.

Tina atmete schneller und ihre geschlossenen Augenlider flackerten. Ihr Gesicht nahm eine rötliche Farbe an und ein leichter Schweißfilm bildete sich auf ihrer Stirn.

Sie befand sich in ihrem Zimmer, lief hin und her. Verzweifelt, voller Angst und Panik Gefühlen.

„Ich habe solche Angst. So furchtbare Angst…!“ sagte Tina, und ihr liefen einige Tränen über die Wangen.

„Was ist denn grade vorher passiert?“ fragte ich liebevoll nach.

Sie hatte grade ihre allererste Blutung bekommen. Und sie dachte, dass sie jetzt sterben würde. Ihre Mutter hatte sie nicht darüber aufgeklärt und somit wusste die arme kleine Tina nichts darüber, dass sie ab einem bestimmten Alter ihren natürlichen Regelblutungen bekommen würde.

Nach einer Weile beruhigte sie sich etwas von dem Schock. Und sie glaubte fest daran, dass sie wohl krank sei. Aber was sollte sie jetzt tun? Sie wusste keine Antwort darauf.  Sie traute sich nicht jemanden davon zu erzählen, vor allem nicht ihren Eltern. So sehr war sie von dem Vorfall beschämt. Niemanden konnte sie sich anvertrauen. Für ihre Eltern war Sexualität ein Tabu Thema über das man nicht sprach.  

Wie schrecklich muss das für die kleine Tina gewesen sein? Eine furchtbare Vorstellung für mich, dass ein Kind so leiden musste. Wo man die Angst mit einfachen Worten der Aufklärung und mit etwas Liebe ganz einfach hätte beseitigen können.

Die besudelte Unterwäsche versteckte Tina erst einmal unter ihrem Bett und als nach einer Woche der böse Spuk endlich aufhörte, war sie sehr erleichtert und glücklich. Ein Stein fiel ihr vom Herzen. Sie hoffte inständig, dass so etwas nie wieder passieren würde.

Einige Tage später spielte Tina mit anderen Jugendlichen auf dem Spielplatz um die Ecke. Als sie nachmittags nach Hause eilte, sah sie ihre Mutter bereits am offenen Fenster.

Ihre Mutter wirkte  sehr wütend auf sie und rief ihr zu, dass sie sofort nach oben kommen soll. Tina erfasste Panik, denn sie ahnte schon, dass Mama ihr schlimmes Geheimnis entdeckt hatte.

Als sie schließlich die Wohnung betrat,  brach der ganze Ärger über sie herein. Ihr Vater war auch da und beide Elternteile schrien zornig auf sie ein. Die kleine Tina wurde mit den allerschlimmsten Schimpfwörtern belegt, die ein Kind von den eigenen Eltern nie hören sollte. Tina wäre am liebsten vor Scham und Angst im Boden versunken und nie mehr aufgetaucht. Die Beschimpfungen der Eltern nahmen an diesem Tag gefühlt kein Ende für sie. Tina bekam für ihre „Tat“ Stubenarrest und die Eltern sprachen später nie wieder ein Wort über diese Sache.

Später überwand Tina ihre Scham und vertraute sich der Mutter einer Freundin an. Diese Mutter war immer sehr liebevoll. Sie erklärte Tina alles, was sie wissen musste und nahm ihr somit die Ängste und ihre Unwissenheit.

Tinas eigene Mutter hatte sich leider nie die Mühe gemacht ihre Tochter aufzuklären.  Wer weiß, welche Erlebnisse sie in ihrer Vergangenheit gehabt hatte, dass sie so eine schlechte Verbindung zu ihrer eigenen Weiblichkeit hatte?

Dieser Vorfall war einer der schlimmsten in Tinas Kindheit. Es steht aber auch als großes Beispiel für die schlechte Beziehung der Eltern zu Tina. Sie hatten ihre eigenen Schuld und Schamgefühle und ihre Unwissenheit auf die kleine Tina übertragen und ihr somit großes Leid zugefügt. Welches sich bis ins erwachsenen Alter gehalten hatte.

Aber die heute erwachsene Tina hatte durch dieses Erlebnis nicht nur Probleme mit den Selbstwertgefühlen. Was viel schlimmer war:  Sie hat ein Problem mit ihrer Weiblichkeit. Als sie immer mehr vom Kind zur Frau wurde und sie immer weiblicher wurde, versuchte sie diese Weiblichkeit zu verstecken.

Zusätzlich verstärkten sich ihre Probleme durch ein weiteres schock Erlebnis als sie siebzehn Jahre war. Sie wurde in einer Diskothek von einem jungen Mann sexuell belästigt. Auch hier fühlte sie sich der Situation hilflos ausgeliefert. Auf einer unterbewussten Ebene empfand Tina ihre eigene Weiblichkeit von da an als bedrohlich. Unterbewusst hatte Tina nun immer Angst vor ihrer eigenen Fraulichkeit und Sexualität.

Somit erklärt sich uns auch warum Tina drei Operationen an ihren Brüsten vornehmen ließ, und zwar um ihre Weiblichkeit zu verstecken, um nicht aufzufallen, bzw. nicht entdeckt zu werden. (So wie die Eltern, Tinas dunkles Geheimnis unter dem Bett entdeckt hatten) Denn die Weiblichkeit war jetzt nicht nur mit Angst verknüpft, sondern besonders auch mit Schuld Gefühlen aus der Vergangenheit. Sie war jetzt etwas Bedrohliches.

Es erklärt sich uns auch, warum sie zwar mit einem Mann zusammen lebt, aber nicht wirklich mit ihm zusammen lebt. Sie hat immer dieses Gefühl in ihrem Hinterkopf, dass es falsch ist eine Frau zu sein. Oder eine Frau sein zu dürfen.

Denn dann würde das dunkle Geheimnis an die Oberfläche kommen. Es würde entdeckt werden und die Scham und Schuld würde wieder da sein und alle Leute würden schlecht über Tina denken. All das sind unterbewusste Abläufe, die leider sehr viel Macht auf uns haben können. Soviel Macht, dass wir unter Umständen sogar bereit sind unnötige Schönheits- Operationen über uns ergehen zu lassen.

Als all das in der Heilsitzung von Tinas Unbewussten in ihr Bewusstsein aufstieg und Tina klar wurde,  was die wirkliche Ursache für ihr Problem war, löste Tina es selbst auf und heilte sich selbst. Ich half ihr am Ende der Sitzung  nur noch, dass sie wieder eine starke und glückliche Verbindung zu ihrem inneren Kind herstellte und diese für immer behalten würde.

Heute ist Tina eine selbstbewusste Frau die ihre eigene Weiblichkeit und Sexualität lebt und wertschätzt.

Reiki at the Click of a Button – A Threat to Tradition?

Online Reiki is becoming more popular than ever. With just a click, healing sessions seem instantly available. But can Reiki truly work without personal connection, tradition, and proper training? Understanding the difference between online Reiki and traditional Reiki is essential to preserve the depth of real healing.

online reiki vs traditional reiki

Remote Reiki Attunements – My Personal Perspective

A topic currently being widely discussed in the Reiki community is so-called remote attunements—that is, receiving initiation into different Reiki levels without a Reiki teacher being physically present.

I am often asked how I personally feel about this. This article is my honest answer.


A Comparison from Martial Arts

I practiced martial arts intensively for many years, so I would like to begin with a comparison.

Some time ago, I met a martial artist who told me he was also a Reiki Master. When I asked who his teacher had been, he replied that he had received all degrees—up to Reiki teacher—through remote attunements via the internet.

He had received the attunement ceremony as a PDF file by email. He said he knew exactly what to do.

He then asked me who my martial arts master was.

I replied that I had read a few good books and was now ready to train others as a black belt.

The look on his face said it all.

Of course, I wasn’t serious. I simply wanted to illustrate how absurd it would be to become a teacher in martial arts without personal guidance. Why should it be any different in Reiki?


Responsibility Begins When You Become a Teacher

The moment you begin to teach others, you carry responsibility—in any discipline.

In martial arts, it takes years of intensive training before one is allowed to teach. Without experience, techniques can be taught incorrectly, potentially leading to injury.

And in Reiki?

Here too, it is not just about techniques, but about guidance, experience, and energetic understanding. A teacher should not only know what to do—but also why, when, and how.


A Real Example from Practice

Some time ago, I was told the following story:

A young woman completed her Reiki Master level with a teacher who herself had been trained exclusively through remote attunements.

The student had not received a single Reiki level before. She was advised to complete all three levels—the first, second, and third—in a single day.

Shortly afterward, she fell into a deep emotional crisis.

When she asked her teacher for help, the response was:
“That’s your problem. You’re a Reiki Master now.”

There is not much more to say.


Why Reiki Is Divided into Levels

The division into different Reiki levels has a purpose.

A responsibly trained teacher knows that the energy system—especially the chakra system—needs to gradually adapt to new energies.

If this were not necessary, the levels would never have been introduced. Everyone could simply be initiated directly into the third degree.

But the experience of traditional teachers shows: development takes time.


My Core Criticism

I have nothing against someone receiving a Reiki attunement online for personal use.

If someone wants to practice Reiki for themselves—fine.

It becomes problematic, in my view, when people without solid training begin to teach others. That is where I personally draw the line.

Because at that point, it is no longer just about personal spirituality—but about responsibility toward others.


When Beliefs Suddenly Become Flexible

What made me reflect deeply was a development during the COVID period.

Many well-known and established Reiki teachers had emphasized for years that online Reiki courses or remote attunements were an absolute no-go. They spoke about the lack of energetic presence, missing depth, and a loss of quality.

And then came COVID.

Suddenly, remote attunements were no longer a problem.
Suddenly, Reiki initiations worked over Zoom.
Suddenly, what had once seemed impossible became possible.

Of course, many self-employed practitioners were under pressure at the time. Seminars were canceled, income declined. Adapting was economically understandable.

But this is where I ask an important question:

How stable is a belief if it changes the moment financial pressure arises?

For me, integrity is not something that should be adjusted depending on circumstances. If I publicly maintain for years that something does not align with the essence of Reiki, then I should not abandon that position just because external conditions change.

I do not judge anyone—but I have personally chosen to turn away from such teachers.

Not out of rebellion, but out of a commitment to remain true to my inner conviction and to an authentic Reiki practice.


The Temptation of the Quick Solution

We live in a time where everything is expected to happen quickly.

It can seem tempting to have an attunement “delivered to your home”—almost like ordering something online. And often, it is cheaper than attending a seminar.

A seeming bargain.

But quality does not arise from speed.


Tradition and Responsibility

Reiki has a long tradition, founded by Mikao Usui.

This tradition deserves respect.

For me, authentic Reiki means:

  • Learning through direct, personal interaction
  • Guidance from an experienced teacher
  • Time for integration
  • Responsibility in working with students

My goal is not only to teach techniques but also to share my personal experience—including real-life case examples from my practice.


My Conclusion

Reiki is not a commodity.
Not a downloadable product.
Not a bargain item.

It is a spiritual practice with depth, responsibility, and history.

Anyone who truly wishes to learn authentic Reiki should seek out an experienced teacher who is physically present—and be willing to invest time and commitment.

Forgiven by the Dead

“Forgiven by the Dead” is more than just a story—it is a journey into the depths of forgiveness and inner healing. Forgiveness can reopen old wounds and reveal new paths, even when the pain is still deeply rooted in our body and subconscious. This account combines personal experience with spiritual insight and shows how forgiveness can dissolve trauma.

forgiven by the dead spiritual healing

Forgiven by the Dead
– Finding Peace Beyond Guilt and Pain

Guilt is something we all encounter at some point in our lives. Some feelings of guilt have a clear, conscious origin, while others lie hidden deep within our subconscious, beyond our direct awareness.

Some guilt we manage to release. Others we tend to avoid, because the memories connected to them are too painful. But what happens when the Pandora’s box of guilt opens—and cannot be closed again?

In the following case, we will explore a very particular kind of guilt.

Lilie (name changed), about 20 years old, with a warm and radiant personality, came to see me for a healing session. She sat down across from me.

At first, we spoke casually. Lilie was visibly nervous, and the light conversation helped her settle in. As she spoke and I perceived her as a whole, I immediately sensed that despite her warmth, she carried something dark and heavy within her.

Once we had become a little more comfortable, I gently guided the conversation toward the reason for her visit.

“How can I help you, Lilie?” I asked.

Her gaze became uncertain, as if searching for the right words.

Then she began to speak.

A few years earlier, she had been involved in a serious car accident. In that accident, someone had lost their life.

Her boyfriend had been riding his motorcycle and needed to take it to a workshop. Lilie planned to pick him up afterward by car. It was a beautiful day; both were in good spirits, and she followed him at a safe distance.

After some time, Lilie noticed a person standing at the roadside. Her boyfriend had already passed by. As Lilie approached, the person suddenly jumped—without any warning—directly in front of her car.

She had no chance to react. All she heard was the impact as the body collided with the vehicle.

With great effort, she managed to bring the car to a stop. In shock, she got out and ran toward the motionless figure lying by the roadside. As she came closer, she realized it was a woman.

By then, her boyfriend had returned. Together, they called emergency services—but the woman had already died.

Lilie paused and took a deep breath.

“Later,” she continued, “we learned that the woman had psychological problems. A suicide note was found.”

She looked at me.

“Everyone knew it wasn’t my fault. Even the woman’s family didn’t blame me. On the contrary—they showed understanding and compassion.”

She hesitated.

“And deep down, I know that too. I couldn’t have done anything. Maybe… maybe it was even better this way. If she had jumped in front of my boyfriend’s motorcycle, he might not have survived.”

Then she said quietly:

“But I have to live with this guilt now.”

I knew that words alone would not change anything.

There was only one way forward: Lilie had to find her own inner closure.

I asked her to close her eyes and began the healing session. After a short while, she immersed deeply into her inner experience—and relived the accident, this time on an inner level.

“What do you see now?” I asked.

With a trembling voice, she replied:

“I’m getting out of the car… I see her lying on the ground… I’m walking toward her…”

Her body began to sway slightly, tears streaming down her face.

Then she suddenly paused.

“Something strange is happening… The woman is no longer on the ground. She’s standing in front of me… and she’s smiling at me.”

In that moment, everything broke free. Lilie collapsed in tears. The shock she had carried for so long was finally releasing.

I allowed her to go through the process, supporting her only with my presence and a quiet:

“I know…”

After a few minutes, she gradually calmed down.

“Is the woman still there?” I asked.

“Yes,” Lilie replied. “She’s still standing in front of me… and smiling.”

“How does that feel?”

“It’s… beautiful. She isn’t hurt. She’s radiant…”

I nodded.

How Forgiveness Leads to Healing

“Would you like to say something to her?”

“Yes,” Lilie said immediately. “I want to tell her how sorry I am.”

“Then do it.”

With a soft but clear voice, Lilie spoke to the deceased woman. She told her about her pain, her guilt, her despair.

When she finished, I asked:

“How does she respond?”

“She just looks at me with love…”

“Ask her what you can do to feel better.”

Lilie did.

Then a gentle smile appeared on her face.

“She has taken my hands… I hear her voice… not with my ears, but inside me…”

“What is she saying?”

Lilie sobbed softly.

“She is asking me for forgiveness… She says it wasn’t my fault… She was ill… she didn’t know what she was doing…”

Tears streamed down her face—but this time they were tears of relief.

I allowed them to remain in this connection for a while longer, until I felt the moment gently coming to an end.

I asked Lilie to say goodbye.

In her inner vision, she saw the woman dissolve into a bright light and disappear.

I, too, sensed the presence fading.

We ended the session.

Lilie sat upright—and radiated.

“How do you feel now?” I asked.

“I feel an incredible sense of peace,” she said.

Then she looked at me:

“What was that? Was that really her?”

I smiled softly.

“Some people would say it was a projection of your subconscious. And that’s understandable.”

I paused briefly.

“But anyone who has experienced something like this knows how real it feels.”

Lilie nodded.

“It was so clear… so real… thank you.”

“Call me if anything comes up,” I said.

But that call never came.

Lilie had found her peace.

And perhaps—in her own way—the deceased woman had as well.

Two souls, able to let go.

And I thought to myself:

What a beautiful experience.

Die Tote, die mir verzieh: Vergebung und innere Heilung

„Die Tote, die mir verzieh“ ist mehr als eine Geschichte – sie ist eine Reise in die Tiefen von Vergebung und innerer Heilung. Vergebung kann alte Wunden öffnen und neue Wege zeigen, selbst wenn uns der Schmerz noch tief im Körper und Unterbewusstsein sitzt. Dieser Erfahrungsbericht verbindet persönliche Erlebnisse mit spirituellen Einsichten und zeigt, wie Vergebung Traumata lösen kann.

die tote die mir verzieh vergebung trauma experience

Die Tote, die mir verzieh – Vergebung, Trauma & Heilung

Schuldgefühle sind etwas, das wir alle im Laufe unseres Lebens kennenlernen. Einige dieser Gefühle haben für uns einen klaren, bewussten Ursprung, während andere tief in unserem Unterbewusstsein verborgen liegen und sich unserem direkten Zugriff entziehen.

Manche Schuldgefühle gelingt es uns loszulassen. Andere hingegen meiden wir lieber, weil die damit verbundenen Erinnerungen zu schmerzhaft sind. Doch was wäre, wenn sich die Büchse der Pandora der Schuldgefühle einmal öffnet – und sich nicht mehr schließen lässt?

Im folgenden Fallbeispiel wollen wir uns mit einer besonderen Form von Schuld auseinandersetzen.

Lilie (Name geändert), etwa 20 Jahre alt, mit einem sonnigen und herzlichen Gemüt, besuchte mich für eine Heilsitzung. Sie setzte sich mir gegenüber auf den Stuhl.

Zunächst unterhielten wir uns ganz ungezwungen. Lilie war sichtlich aufgeregt, und das lockere Gespräch half ihr, sich zu beruhigen und anzukommen. Während sie erzählte und ich sie in ihrer Gesamtheit wahrnahm, fiel mir sofort auf, dass sie – trotz ihrer warmen Ausstrahlung – etwas Dunkles, Schweres mit sich trug.

Nachdem wir uns etwas besser kennengelernt hatten, lenkte ich das Gespräch behutsam auf den Grund ihres Besuchs.

„Wobei kann ich dir helfen, Lilie?“, fragte ich.

Ihr Blick wurde unsicher, als würde sie nach den richtigen Worten suchen.

Schließlich begann sie zu erzählen.

Vor einigen Jahren hatte sie einen schweren Autounfall. Bei diesem Unfall war ein Mensch ums Leben gekommen.

Ihr Freund war mit seinem Motorrad unterwegs gewesen und musste zur Inspektion in eine Werkstatt. Lilie wollte ihn anschließend mit dem Auto abholen. Es war ein schöner Tag, beide waren gut gelaunt, und sie fuhr ihm mit angemessenem Abstand hinterher.

Nach einiger Zeit bemerkte Lilie eine Person am Straßenrand. Ihr Freund fuhr bereits an ihr vorbei. Als Lilie die Person erreichte, sprang diese plötzlich – ohne jede Vorwarnung – direkt vor ihr Auto.

Sie hatte keine Chance zu reagieren. Sie hörte nur noch den Knall des Aufpralls als der Körper mit dem Wagen kollidierte.

Mit großer Mühe brachte sie das Fahrzeug zum Stillstand. Unter Schock stieg sie aus und lief zu der reglos am Straßenrand liegenden Gestalt. Als sie näherkam, erkannte sie, dass es sich um eine Frau handelte.

Inzwischen war auch ihr Freund zurückgekehrt. Gemeinsam alarmierten sie den Rettungsdienst – doch die Frau war bereits verstorben.

Lilie machte eine Pause und atmete tief durch.

„Wir erfuhren später“, fuhr sie fort, „dass diese Frau psychische Probleme hatte. Es wurde ein Abschiedsbrief gefunden.“

Sie sah mich an.

„Allen war klar, dass ich keine Schuld an diesem Unfall hatte. Auch die Familie der Verstorbenen hat mir keine Vorwürfe gemacht. Im Gegenteil – sie zeigten Verständnis und Mitgefühl.“

Sie zögerte kurz.

„Und eigentlich weiß ich das auch selbst. Ich hätte nichts tun können. Vielleicht war es sogar besser so… Wäre sie vor das Motorrad meines Freundes gesprungen, hätte er vielleicht nicht überlebt.“

Dann sagte sie leise:

„Aber ich muss jetzt mit diesen Schuldgefühlen leben.“

Mir war klar, dass Worte allein hier nichts verändern würden.

Es gab nur einen Weg: Lilie musste selbst zu einem inneren Abschluss finden.

Ich bat sie, die Augen zu schließen, und begann die Heilsitzung. Nach kurzer Zeit tauchte sie tief in ihr Erleben ein – und durchlebte den Unfall erneut, diesmal auf einer inneren Ebene.

„Was siehst du jetzt?“, fragte ich.

Mit zittriger Stimme antwortete sie:

„Ich steige aus dem Auto… ich sehe sie am Boden liegen… ich laufe zu ihr…“

Ihr Körper begann leicht zu schwanken, Tränen liefen ihr über das Gesicht.

Dann stockte sie plötzlich.

„Jetzt passiert etwas Seltsames… Die Frau liegt nicht mehr am Boden. Sie steht vor mir… und lächelt mich an.“

In diesem Moment brach alles aus ihr heraus. Sie sank weinend zusammen. Der Schock, den sie so lange in sich getragen hatte, löste sich endlich.

Ich ließ sie diesen Prozess durchleben, unterstützte sie lediglich mit meiner Präsenz und einem leisen:

„Ich weiß…“

Nach einigen Minuten beruhigte sie sich langsam.

„Ist die Frau noch da?“, fragte ich.

„Ja“, antwortete Lilie. „Sie steht noch vor mir… und lächelt.“

„Wie fühlst du dich dabei?“

„Es ist… schön. Sie ist nicht verletzt. Sie strahlt…“

Ich nickte.

Wie Vergebung zur Heilung führt

„Möchtest du ihr etwas sagen?“

„Ja“, sagte Lilie sofort. „Ich möchte ihr sagen, wie leid mir alles tut.“

„Dann tu das.“

Mit leiser, aber klarer Stimme sprach Lilie zur Verstorbenen. Sie erzählte von ihrem Schmerz, ihrer Schuld, ihrer Verzweiflung.

Als sie fertig war, fragte ich:

„Wie reagiert sie?“

„Sie schaut mich einfach liebevoll an…“

„Frag sie, was du tun kannst, damit es dir besser geht.“

Lilie tat es.

Dann erschien ein sanftes Lächeln auf ihrem Gesicht.

„Sie hat meine Hände genommen… Ich höre ihre Stimme… nicht mit den Ohren, sondern in mir…“

„Was sagt sie?“

Lilie schluchzte leise.

„Sie bittet mich um Verzeihung… Sie sagt, es war nicht meine Schuld… Sie war krank… sie wusste nicht mehr, was sie tat…“

Tränen liefen über ihr Gesicht – doch diesmal waren es Tränen der Erleichterung.

Ich ließ die beiden noch eine Weile miteinander in Verbindung bleiben, bis ich spürte, dass sich der Moment dem Ende näherte.

Ich bat Lilie, sich zu verabschieden.

In ihrer inneren Wahrnehmung sah sie, wie die Frau in ein helles Licht überging und verschwand.

Auch ich spürte, wie die Präsenz langsam nachließ.

Wir beendeten die Sitzung.

Lilie setzte sich aufrecht hin – und strahlte.

„Wie fühlst du dich jetzt?“, fragte ich.

„Ich fühle einen unglaublichen Frieden“, sagte sie.

Dann sah sie mich an:

„Was war das gerade? War das wirklich sie?“

Ich lächelte leicht.

„Es gibt Menschen, die würden sagen, es war eine Projektion deines Unterbewusstseins. Und das ist verständlich.“

Ich machte eine kurze Pause.

„Aber wer so etwas selbst erlebt, weiß, wie real es sich anfühlt.“

Lilie nickte.

„Es war so klar… so echt… danke.“

„Melde dich, falls noch etwas nachkommt“, sagte ich.

Doch dieser Anruf kam nie.

Lilie hatte ihren Frieden gefunden.

Und vielleicht – auf ihre Weise – auch die Verstorbene.

Zwei Seelen, die loslassen konnten.

Und ich dachte bei mir:

Was für eine wundervolle Erfahrung.

When the Night Becomes the Enemy – Fear of Falling Asleep

Fear of falling asleep affects countless people worldwide. Nighttime anxiety can trigger racing thoughts, tension, and stress, often rooted in subconscious patterns or past experiences. Understanding these underlying causes is the first step toward healing and reclaiming restful, peaceful nights.

fear of falling asleep nighttime anxiety

Fear of Falling Asleep: Understanding Nighttime Anxiety & Healing

A young woman, around 29 years old, came to me for a healing session. Let’s call her Julia.

Julia told me that she had suffered from severe compulsions and anxieties for many years. She explained that before going to bed, she had to perform several rituals. She would check every corner of her room, under the bed, in the closet, and even search other rooms. Only when she was completely sure that no one was hiding anywhere did she allow herself to go to bed.

Even when she knew her apartment was empty, a strong fear would overcome her. Sometimes it escalated into full-blown panic attacks, and she would tremble, paralyzed under the covers. Sleep was almost impossible. Eventually, she would fall asleep, but the stress before every night left deep emotional scars.

Soon, Julia developed avoidance strategies to try to get a calmer night. One of them was spending an excessive amount of time brushing her teeth to delay going to bed. Another was to spend as much time as possible staying over at friends’ homes or inviting friends to stay with her. Her third strategy was to cling closely to her boyfriend, wanting to be with him as much as possible—which eventually put strain on the relationship.

Of course, these strategies didn’t always work, and she still had to sleep alone sometimes. Julia began psychotherapy, but talk therapy did not bring relief.

Through an acquaintance, she learned about me, and in her desperation, she finally turned to me—a spiritual healer. She admitted that normally, she would never have gone to someone like me, but because her acquaintance had spoken so highly of my work, she decided to give it a try. I smiled, understanding that many people hold prejudices against healers and only turn to them in moments of extreme need. I didn’t take offense; I understood completely, as I myself had once dismissed spiritual healing as nonsense. But that’s another story.

I asked Julia what she believed would happen if she didn’t perform her pre-sleep rituals and when these fears had first appeared.

She explained that she feared someone might be there to harm her—perhaps something like “the boogeyman.” She couldn’t remember exactly when it had started, but it must have been at the beginning of puberty.

Since fears like this don’t simply arise from nowhere, but have a cause, I asked if she might have experienced something distressing as a child.

“Yes,” she said. “There was something that still affects me to this day.”

She recounted that as a young girl, she was walking home with a classmate when a teenage boy on a bicycle cut her off from behind. He turned back, shoved Julia into a bush, attacked her, and groped her. Her classmate ran away screaming for help. Julia fought back fiercely, which caused the boy to release her and flee on his bike.

Julia remembered the incident vividly. Her mother arrived, the police were informed, but the perpetrator was never identified. Life seemed to continue as normal after that. She never saw the boy again.

I asked if her parents had talked to her about the incident. She said they didn’t want to “make a big deal” of it and that no discussion had taken place.

Now much of it made sense to me. I understood why, many years later, Julia suffered from these anxieties and compulsive behaviors.

We began the healing session. I stood beside Julia, inviting her into my energy field, and spoke calming words to allow her subconscious to take the lead. Shortly afterward, Julia re-experienced the incident—but this time in a protected space, with the opportunity to release the shock she had carried all these years.

Her body began to move back and forth, tears streaming down her face. I asked what she perceived, and she explained that the scene was playing out again in her mind. She described the incident in detail, and I encouraged her to release the shock. (I use a specific technique for this, which I cannot fully explain here; I teach it in my seminars.)

Julia’s body curled and shook, and she cried intensely—a sign that the shock was releasing. It seemed as if the trauma was leaving her body. I supported her with gentle words until the first wave passed. A second wave followed, weaker than the first, and I waited until it subsided. Finally, a smile appeared on Julia’s face, and her body calmed and stabilized.

I asked how she felt.
“Much better. I feel truly relieved,” she replied.

I then gave her the opportunity to make inner peace with the perpetrator and mentally return the pain he had caused her. This allowed Julia to release the guilt and fear she had carried all those years. In her mind, she embraced the “little Julia” and brought her from the past into her heart—into the here and now.

We concluded the session and discussed the experience. I explained that she had suffered a trauma. Because she could neither process the shock physically nor talk about it at the time, the memory had lodged in her subconscious.

At the onset of puberty, such repressed trauma can be reactivated. Julia’s subconscious sent out the old fear signals again because it has no sense of time—everything exists in the present for the subconscious.

Thus, the danger was not real or current, but old, unresolved fears, as if her inner self were saying: “Be careful. This must not happen again. Stay alert!”

I also explained that her symptoms resembled post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A war veteran, even years later, may see an enemy behind every bush, even though he is safely back home. Here, too, the subconscious remained trapped in the past, sending warning signals to prevent a repetition of the trauma.

Interestingly, Julia’s symptoms usually occurred before bedtime, although the attack had happened in broad daylight. I reasoned that in the bedroom we feel both safe and vulnerable; in sleep, we are particularly defenseless—much like children in threatening situations. This may explain why her anxieties appeared specifically at night.

During the healing session, Julia was able to resolve this old trauma in a protected environment and, with my guidance, release herself from it.

I asked her to call me a week later and report how she had been. When she did, I could hear in her voice that she was well.

“I am overjoyed, Marco. I am no longer afraid and fall asleep immediately—like a baby. Even when I am alone. I no longer have to perform rituals or search my apartment for the ‘boogeyman.’ It feels amazing to finally live freely. Thank you so very much!”

To this day, Julia is free of anxiety.

The Cellar of Tears – Healing Trauma & Emotional Wounds


The Cellar of Tears” is a symbolic journey through hidden emotional wounds and past trauma. Many people carry subconscious pain that affects behaviour and emotional wellbeing. By exploring these hidden layers, real healing and inner transformation become possible.

cellar of tears emotional healing

The Story Behind “The Cellar of Tears

The next case story is meant to illustrate the power our emotions have and the influence they can actually exert on our health.

One of my healing students (let’s call her Helga) complained that she had recently developed a bloated stomach. In addition, she had suddenly begun experiencing pain in the sole of her foot from one day to the next. After several days without improvement, she consulted her general practitioner.

As soon as Helga described her symptoms, the doctor suspected gout. Blood tests confirmed the assumption: Helga’s uric acid levels were significantly elevated. All the symptoms clearly pointed to gout.

However, because Helga had learned during her healer training with me that most illnesses have an unconscious cause, she came to see me to find out whether there might be an emotional root behind it.

As usual, I first asked when exactly everything had begun. Helga told me that it had started shortly after her wedding. She remembered returning from her honeymoon with her newly married husband. When they opened the mailbox, they were overwhelmed by the large number of congratulatory letters they had received.

Helga explained that she and her husband were incredibly happy when they returned from their honeymoon, and she was delighted by all the letters from friends and relatives.

But then she opened a letter from her stepmother—and all those feelings of happiness vanished instantly.

Her stepmother was not pleased about Helga’s new marriage and informed her, in a very unfriendly tone, that she would no longer belong to the family.

Helga said that from that moment on she couldn’t stop thinking about her stepmother and constantly felt guilty.

Almost like obsessive thoughts.

That was when everything began. Shortly afterward, her stomach became bloated. But something else also changed: she suddenly had difficulty urinating. Before that, everything had worked perfectly, but now it felt as if the “valve” was no longer opening properly and something was being held back.

This explained the elevated uric acid levels.

So we had identified the trigger—but the underlying cause was still missing.

Recognizing Hidden Wounds

Now my detective work began.

I asked Helga to stand up and allowed my energy to flow into her. Within a few moments, she slipped into a light trance. I then instructed her subconscious to show us the true cause of her problem.

Helga’s voice and posture changed, and I suddenly had the feeling that a little girl was standing in front of me instead of a 55-year-old woman.

Her subconscious was working at full speed and led us far back into the past.

Helga saw herself as a small child—perhaps five years old—and began describing the surroundings she found herself in.

Speaking with a childlike voice, she told me that she was playing alone on the terrace in front of her parents’ house. The atmosphere felt bleak, and Helga did not feel comfortable.

I asked if anyone else was there.

She replied that only her mother was inside the house.

I asked if it was her stepmother, but she clarified that it was her biological mother.

Then Helga’s mood changed, and small tears rolled down her face.

“Why are you crying?” I asked.

“Mommy is angry with me,” Helga replied.

“But why is she angry with you?”

“I don’t know. Something bad is always about to happen. I’m scared. I don’t want to go into the house.”

I asked Helga’s adult self to join the situation in order to support the little girl.

The adult Helga took her inner child by the hand and led her through the door into the house.

Once inside, Helga saw a dark cellar door in her mind’s eye.

“There is that horrible cellar,” she said.

Gently I asked what was in the cellar.

Suddenly Helga broke down crying and shouted:

“Me! I am in the cellar!”

After a while Helga explained that her mother would often beat her with a wooden cooking spoon whenever she had supposedly done something wrong. Sometimes the beatings only stopped when Helga wet herself.

Only then would her mother stop.

As an additional punishment, Helga was locked in the dark cellar of the house and not allowed to leave. Sometimes for hours, sometimes even for days.

These cellar punishments became more frequent when Helga’s mother had a lover and wanted the little girl out of the way.

“I understand,” I replied with deep compassion and surrounded Helga with the full energy of unconditional love.

She began to cry more intensely and bent forward as if in pain. All the shock energy from the past was now releasing from her subconscious.

When that wave passed, she told me that she now felt an intense anger inside her.

“Oh, I am so angry!”

This was a good sign. The shock and trauma energy had suppressed and hidden these feelings of anger for many years.

I encouraged her to express this anger freely.

Because Helga was a gentle person who never wanted to harm anyone—and had been raised to always be nice—she initially found it difficult to give in to the impulse.

So I encouraged her gently:

“You are innocent in what happened to you. It is your right to free yourself from it. You can’t do anything wrong now, and you never did anything wrong. Stop fighting it. Just let it go.”

And Helga screamed.

These are the moments, dear reader, when I am very grateful to work in a practice with extremely thick walls.

When years of suppressed anger finally release, it is almost as if someone has thrown an energetic hand grenade into the room.

There is quite a bang.

After that emotional explosion, the room was filled with a flood of colorful swear words that I will spare you here. Helga raged furiously:

“How could you dare treat such a small child like that?!”

This went on for several minutes.

When the waves of anger subsided, Helga relaxed, and a smile appeared on her face.

“How do you feel now?” I asked.

“So relieved, Marco!”

Then I asked Helga to free the little Helga from the cellar and bring her into the present moment.

(Of course, this process is much more complex than I can describe here. I cannot explain these techniques in detail because I want to prevent untrained people from attempting to work with traumatized individuals based only on descriptions in a book.)

After the healing session, Helga told me that one day her father had gained custody and taken her to live with him. He had a new partner—the stepmother mentioned earlier—who raised her from then on.

Although the physical violence stopped, Helga experienced psychological abuse. The message was always the same:

“You will only be loved if you do exactly what we expect of you. Be nice.”

Helga moved out very early to escape this pressure and became independent at a young age. She moved from southern Germany to the far north, married, and had a son.

Her family continued to make it clear that she never truly belonged.

No matter what she did, she was rejected.

When her father died, Helga felt responsible for her stepmother and tried to maintain contact. She was never thanked. Instead, attempts were constantly made to make her feel guilty in order to control her.

Eventually Helga began freeing herself from this pattern—but the guilt still lingered deep inside her.

After the healing session I asked her how she felt.

She smiled broadly.

“I’m exhausted—but in a good way,” she said.

She also reported a strong energetic sensation flowing through her legs and down into her feet.

“It feels like bubbling,” she said fascinated. “Is that normal?”

“That’s actually a very good sign,” I replied.

“The energy that was stuck is now flowing properly through your body again. Symbolically, you had still been trapped in that cellar all these years. That is why the gout symptoms appeared in your foot—unconsciously, you were still stuck in that terrible place.”

Her bloated stomach had also been a sign that energy could no longer flow properly below the hips.

The problem with urination should now resolve as well.

When she had been beaten as a child, her subconscious learned that the beatings stopped once she wet herself.

So over time she wet herself faster because her subconscious was trying to protect her from the blows.

When she later received the letter from her stepmother, her subconscious recognized the same “mother theme” and attempted to react the same way.

As an adult, she had unconsciously resisted this impulse—which created tension and physical symptoms.

“That’s why I had trouble urinating?” Helga exclaimed. “That’s incredible!”

“Exactly,” I replied.

“As a child you were helpless against the forces of your subconscious. Today, as an adult, it must find other ways to signal that something is wrong.”

It is both frightening and fascinating when we realize how much power the subconscious mind actually has over our health.

About a week later Helga called me.

“I’m doing very well, Marco,” she said happily.

“The energy in my legs stopped in the evening, and the pain in my foot is gone. My stomach swelling has also disappeared.”

She also told me that the day after the healing session she had passed very dark urine and that urination had returned to normal.

“I can sleep well again,” she added. “I feel rested, balanced, and simply happy.”

Her smile practically radiated through the phone.

“Wonderful,” I said. “And what about the obsessive thoughts about your stepmother?”

“That’s the funny part,” Helga replied. “At first I didn’t even notice that I had stopped thinking about her. After about a week it suddenly occurred to me that she hadn’t crossed my mind at all.”

She laughed.

“It’s like tinnitus,” she continued. “If the ringing suddenly disappears after years, you don’t notice it immediately because you’re so used to it being there.”

We both smiled.

“It’s okay now, Marco,” she said. “I’m not angry with my stepmother anymore. I forgive her. I also forgive my mother and let it go. Finally, I am free from guilt and have decided not to be a victim anymore.”

Some weeks later I saw Helga again.

She was still doing wonderfully.

None of the symptoms had returned.

To this day, she remains symptom-free.